👏Food👏Re👏View👏
In my time in Scotland, I have encountered many a food. Some were good, some were not good. So I thought that I would bestow upon you all my professional expertise in food critic-ing. I am 100% a qualified food critic and my opinion makes and breaks careers. My opinion is fact. So, here are my thoughts on 5 foods here in Scotland.
Haggis
I've said this before, and I'll say it again: haggis is awesome. There is no reason for good 'ol oatsNguts™ to taste so good, but it does somehow! Technically, in the US, haggis is illegal because you can't eat lung,but that makes it even more fun.
It's traditionally served with mashed potatoes and mashed turnips, but I've seen it in fried balls, on waffles, and in burritos. It somehow manages to be good in all contexts.
All in all, haggis is really good. If you ever wake up in the UK, unsure of how you got there, go get some haggis while you get your bearings. Haggis isn't for everyone, but it's honestly made its way up my favorite foods list.
Rating: 9/10
Grade: A for AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH WHAT'S IN THIS!??!?!?!?!!!??!
Baked Beans
Obviously baked beans aren't new to the US, but in Scotland they're made differently. Instead of being stored in... I don't know... bean juice? They're in this watery ketchup stuff. I'm not the biggest fan of it.
I have found that tomatoes and beans don't mix very well, so ketchup beans do not taste good. At all. Here's where you can find this monstrosity so that you know that I'm not being dramatic.
The beans themselves are lighter and taste different. I've only had them a few times, but that was a few times too many. These beans are gross and I do not recommend.
Rating: 2/10
Grade: D for Dude, That's Gross
Jaffa Cakes
Jaffa cakes are literally so good. They're these spongey cookies with a layer of chocolate, and in between the cookie and the chocolate, there's a layer of orange jelly. They taste so good. I could eat 500 of them right now.
When I first saw them, I thought "oh so they're just cookies," but I was mistaken. These are not just cookies. These are little cakes from above. These are awesome.
I think, like most things on this list, you can only get Jaffa Cakes in the UK, but if you ever get the chance to, you should try some. 10/10 would recommend.
Rating: 10/10
Grade: B for Boy, Are These Good
Sausages
Like baked beans, sausages obviously aren't new to the US, but they are pretty different. They have a different flavor and texture. These have a lighter color, so it feels like you're biting into frozen sausages.
They're not exactly bad, just odd. There's something off about them, like an empty Target or a hotel lobby at 3am. It's weirdly unsettling.
If you really want to, you could try these, but if you're looking for quality food I would recommend something else. These are pretty bad.
Rating: 1/10
Grade: F for Freaking Gross
Irn Bru
Irn Bru (Iron Brew) is like the UK version of Coke. It's really good, and it tastes like orange soda mixed with Coke mixed with root beer.
It's not for everyone, and it seems to have a different taste for everyone. My sister thought it tasted like cold medicine, and I thought it tasted like Jell-O.
It's bright orange, which can be off-putting to some people, but I really like it. If anything, the orange makes it even better. Sadly, it's only sold in the UK. I would recommend it next time you're in Europe.
Rating: 10/10
Grade: C for Coke Rip-off
So, that was my professional food critic opinion/fact on all (5) of the foods here in the UK. I hope you liked my knowledge. Bye!!
Haggis
I've said this before, and I'll say it again: haggis is awesome. There is no reason for good 'ol oatsNguts™ to taste so good, but it does somehow! Technically, in the US, haggis is illegal because you can't eat lung,
It's traditionally served with mashed potatoes and mashed turnips, but I've seen it in fried balls, on waffles, and in burritos. It somehow manages to be good in all contexts.
All in all, haggis is really good. If you ever wake up in the UK, unsure of how you got there, go get some haggis while you get your bearings. Haggis isn't for everyone, but it's honestly made its way up my favorite foods list.
Rating: 9/10
Grade: A for AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH WHAT'S IN THIS!??!?!?!?!!!??!
Baked Beans
Obviously baked beans aren't new to the US, but in Scotland they're made differently. Instead of being stored in... I don't know... bean juice? They're in this watery ketchup stuff. I'm not the biggest fan of it.
I have found that tomatoes and beans don't mix very well, so ketchup beans do not taste good. At all. Here's where you can find this monstrosity so that you know that I'm not being dramatic.
The beans themselves are lighter and taste different. I've only had them a few times, but that was a few times too many. These beans are gross and I do not recommend.
Rating: 2/10
Grade: D for Dude, That's Gross
Jaffa Cakes
Jaffa cakes are literally so good. They're these spongey cookies with a layer of chocolate, and in between the cookie and the chocolate, there's a layer of orange jelly. They taste so good. I could eat 500 of them right now.
When I first saw them, I thought "oh so they're just cookies," but I was mistaken. These are not just cookies. These are little cakes from above. These are awesome.
I think, like most things on this list, you can only get Jaffa Cakes in the UK, but if you ever get the chance to, you should try some. 10/10 would recommend.
Rating: 10/10
Grade: B for Boy, Are These Good
Sausages
Like baked beans, sausages obviously aren't new to the US, but they are pretty different. They have a different flavor and texture. These have a lighter color, so it feels like you're biting into frozen sausages.
They're not exactly bad, just odd. There's something off about them, like an empty Target or a hotel lobby at 3am. It's weirdly unsettling.
If you really want to, you could try these, but if you're looking for quality food I would recommend something else. These are pretty bad.
Rating: 1/10
Grade: F for Freaking Gross
Irn Bru
Irn Bru (Iron Brew) is like the UK version of Coke. It's really good, and it tastes like orange soda mixed with Coke mixed with root beer.
It's not for everyone, and it seems to have a different taste for everyone. My sister thought it tasted like cold medicine, and I thought it tasted like Jell-O.
It's bright orange, which can be off-putting to some people, but I really like it. If anything, the orange makes it even better. Sadly, it's only sold in the UK. I would recommend it next time you're in Europe.
Rating: 10/10
Grade: C for Coke Rip-off
So, that was my professional food critic opinion/fact on all (5) of the foods here in the UK. I hope you liked my knowledge. Bye!!
 |
| Haggis, Turnips, and Mashed Potatoes |
Comments
Post a Comment