Haggis and Sassy Poets

Haggis, Tatties, and Neeps.

Heart, liver, lungs, and other animal entrails all mixed up into the stomach lining of a sheep. Delicious. Haggis is a traditional Scottish food, and despite how it sounds and what it's made of, it's actually really good. Or, at least I thought so. My sister, not so much. I first tried haggis a few days ago when we went to a Robert Burns dinner. Robert Burns is the most famous Scottish poet. His most famous poem is "Address to a Haggis". You can find a copy of the original, as well as a translation here. It's very hard to pronounce, and the only words I could understand were 'Haggis' and 'dinner'. One of the best parts is that Burns snuck in a sick burn on French people. Haha stereotypes.

A traditional Burns dinner includes two of my favorite things: potatoes and knives. The knife is used to cut open the haggis as the bagpipe person bagpipes the day away (That's called piping in the haggis, and when I first heard it I thought that it meant he was going to physically pipe the entrails into the stomach. I was very relieved to find out that's not what it means). The potatoes are for eating. Obviously.

There's a lot of history and junk about Robert Burns, how he 'used his words to inspire a nation' and whatnot, but what I'd like to talk about is the portraits of Burns. The most common portrait I've seen is this painting of him looking into the distance all thoughtful with a small smile just to demonstrate how much of a tortured artist he is. When I first saw this, I thought "Wow that looks like Alexander Hamilton". And I realized that the pose he's in does look a lot like Hamilton.

Hey, they're both looking away from the painter and sitting stiff with a small smile. I can just imagine some old historic looking dudes saying "Make sure to get my good side. My powdered wig is NOT cooperating today." I almost feel bad for those painters who had to put up with all the diva colonials and poets and kings. "The lighting makes me look more sickly than I really am" "You still look exquisite, sir" "Do it again!" "But sir--" "DO IT"

Or something like that.

I always wonder if famous poets or writers were really sassy and self centered, like if Shakespeare ever told anyone to change because they were wearing the same outfit and he wore it better. Or if someone criticized his work because they didn't get a part in his play he said something along the lines of "I asked for talent, not your opinion Margaret." Or if Edgar Allen Poe showed up to a party and someone had a bad outfit on, he was like "That shirt with those shoes? Gurl no".

But back to haggis. 10/10 will share with my peers. The only downside is that I missed out on having whiskey with haggis because I'm underage. Ah well. There's always next time.